


There's only 2 braincells in the Robinson family and usually Maureen and Judy have it.

by arfrid



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018), Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aromantic June Harris, Asexual Judy Robinson, Demisexual Will Robinson, Don and Penny are a comedic duo, F/F, F/M, I cant be bothered to tag everyone, M/M, Pansexual John Robinson, bisexual Penny Robinson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arfrid/pseuds/arfrid
Summary: Penny changed John's name to IFFTIFFT: what does it stand for, penny?Penny: Intimidating Friendly Fire TruckIFFT: ...IFFT: ...Maureen: Accurate.
Relationships: Dustin Henderson/Lucas Sinclair, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, John Robinson/Maureen Robinson, Judy Robinson/Don West, Robin Buckley/Penny Robinson, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Will/Forever Single
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Penny = Angry Racoon

Penny invited Maureen, John, Judy and Will to the group.  
  
 _Penny changed the name of the group to 'Robinsons stick together.'_  
  
Penny: what's up fuckers  
  
Maureen: Penny, no swearing.  
  
Judy: Mom, she's 16.  
  
Penny: my groupchat my rules.  
  
John: what the hell  
  
Judy: wait, where's Don?

Will: and Dr. Smith?  
  
Penny: ...  
  
Penny: why the actual duck would i invite Dr ducking Smith to this ducking group chat  
  
Judy: JESUS CHRIST, PENNy. WHY ARE YOU SWEARING SO MUCH.  
  
 _Penny invited Don and June.  
_  
June: no-one can know my true name  
  
 _June changed her name to Doctor Smitherooo_  
  
Don: we're no strangers to love  
  
Will: no  
  
Penny: you know the rules and so do I  
  
Will: please, don't  
  
Penny: a full commitment's what im thinking of  
  
Don: you wouldn't get this from another guy  
  
John: I just want to tell you how i'm feeling  
  
Maureen: why did I marry John  
  
Judy: Here it comes...  
  
Penny: gotta make you understaaaand  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP  
  
Penny: NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNNN  
  
John: Never gonna run around and desert you  
  
Don: NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY  
  
 _Penny added Vijay to the group chat  
_  
Vijay: never gonna say goodbye!  
  
Will: stop it  
  
Penny: get some help  
  
 _Penny changed Vijay's name to game changer  
_  
game changer: wht  
  
Judy: Your mispronunciation is mentally hurting me.  
  
game changer: What the actual heck, Penny.  
  
Penny: Awh, the baby can't even say a swear word.  
  
game changer: I CAN!  
  
Judy: No, you can't.  
  
John: nope  
  
Maureen: Statistically speaking, no, you can't.  
  
Don: lol no  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: hah dont make me laugh  
  
game changer: i hate everyone here except Will  
  
Will: Im sorry but you have an inability to swear :(  
  
game changer: its official i hate everybody here  
  
Penny: lol mood??  
  
Penny: on that note...  
  
 _Penny changed Will's name to innocence_  
  
innocence: what??  
  
 _Penny changed Judy's name to asexual awesomeness_  
  
asexual awesomeness: Accurate.  
  
Don: can confirm  
  
asexual awesomeness: But I'm going to shorten it.   
  
_asexual awesomeness changed her name to AA_  
  
Don: AA BATTERIES  
  
AA: I hate you.  
  
Don: no you dont  
  
AA: Yes, I do.  
  
Don: wh-  
  
Don: sadness noises  
  
Penny changed John's name to IFFT  
  
IFFT: what does it stand for, penny?  
  
Penny: Intimidating Friendly Fire Truck  
  
IFFT: ...  
IFFT: ...  
  
Maureen: Accurate.  
  
Penny changed Maureen's name to maAAAATh  
  
maAAAATh: I can see why it's my name, but at the same time I don't want it to be my name  
  
Penny changed game changer's name to when will you learn  
  
when will you learn: that your actions have consequences  
  
Penny: EXACTLY  
  
 _Don changed Penny's name to angry racoon  
_  
when will you learn: HAHAHAHAAAAH  
  
AA: Oh my god. That is the most accurate name ever.  
  
angry racoon: fuck you(Don), fuck you(Vijay), fuck you(Judy), fuck you(Mom), you're cool(Will), and FUCK yOU(DAD) im out.  
  
 _angry racoon left the Robinsons Stick Together_  
  
when will you learn: oh  
  
when will you learn: oh shit she actually left  
  
AA: Oh, wow. I should probably go talk to her.  
  
Don: No, leave it to me. It's my fault.  
  
Don is now AFK.  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: woooow  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: can we find a more dramatic family?? haha nope  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: but srsly. penny was called a racoon because she gave everyone funny names??  
  
IFFT: mine is not funny.  
  
AA: It is, however, accurate.  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: also Don being responsible??? im?? confused???  
  
AA: Never use that many question marks again.  
  
 _Don came back from AFK.  
_  
Don: turns out Penny isn't upset  
  
AA: Then why is the sound of a cat dying coming from her room?  
  
Don: thats a racoon screeching. she's blasting the sound of a racoon screeching from her room  
  
 _Penny invited herself back into the Robinsons Stick Together.  
  
_ when will you learn: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE  
  
Don: WHAT WHEN HOW WHO WHERE WHEN WHAT  
  
John: what the frickly frack snick snack cracker jack thumb tack cracker jack just happened  
  
Penny:whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'ric'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al summoned the almighty one  
  
AA: I'm not sure which one above is worse.  
  
Will: h-how... Penny what the shit...  
  
Penny: UNEARTHLY GASP  
  
Penny: WILL SWORE  
  
AA: OMG  
  
Don: MY BOIY IM SO PROUD   
  
IFFT: what no  
  
maAAAATh: Will, no!  
  
Doctor Smitheroo: and I thought this group chat couldn't get more dramatic  
  
AA: Shut the FUCK up, Smith.


	2. Penny's girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> batman: lesbain
> 
> AA: I already hate you.
> 
> batman: good first impressions :D

Penny: what’s everyones hogwarts houses eh

maAAAATh: You already know?

Penny: vijay june and don dont kno

Don: yeah can we uhhh get a little respekt

AA: respect*

when will you learn: Gryffindor :D

Penny: Ravenpuff, though motsly hufelpff

AA: That was excruciating to read. Mostly* Hufflepuff* and also I’m a Gryffindor.

maAAAATh: Ravenclaw too.

IFFT: Hufflepuff.

Innocence: also hufflepuff.

Doctor Smitheroo: Slytherin.

Penny: oooof course your are.

Doctor Smitheroo: someones being a prejudiced little bitch

Don: uhh can you not? insult? my niece-like girl?

Penny: niece like???

Don: yeah since im a cool uncle figure to you and you’re an awesome niece figure to me!

Penny: nice.

Don: anyways im a gryff

Penny: also can I invite my gf and her friendos

AA: yeah sure

IFFT: wait what gf

maAAAATh: wait YOU DIDN’T TELL JOHN?!

Penny: oh yeah

_Penny changed her name to bi bye bi_

bi bye bi: im bisexual

Don: CALLED IT

Don: I WIN THE BET, SMITH

bi bye bi: wait what bet??

Doctor Smitheroo: double cross

Don: B I T C H

Doctor Smitheroo: I assumed you were gay

Don: and I betted that u were bi so I win

Doctor Smitheroo: anyways yes invite your gf

Innocence: yeah, pen!

_bi bye bi invited batman, ahOY LADIES, skrrt skrrt, toofless, the rational one, edgelord, hap hop and the wise to the group chat._

batman: W H O M S T

bi bye bi: itsA MEEEE

batman: PENNY!!!!!!

skrrt skrrt: why are we???

ahOY LADIES: is this the lucky girl, rob??

AA: So. Many. People.

toofless: okay can we take a break so robin can explain who bi bye bi is??

batman: oh its my gf

the rational one: OH MY GOD YASSS

edgelord: noice

the wise: I’m happy for you, Robin.

batman: no you’re dying inside

AA: Can someone stop for a moment?

ahOY LADIES: oh yeah, sorry.

batman: lets introdcue ourselfs

AA: That… That grammar…

batman: i am penelope robinson’s girlfriend, also known as Robin

toofless: i just now understand your name

toofless: im dustin btw aka the Ravenclaw compass guy

when will you learn: what did I miss

the rational one: that your actions have coNsEQUeNCES!!!

when will you learn: wha

when will you learn: oh wait yea

ahOY LADIES: im steve the redisent babysitter

ahOY LADIES: resident*

edgelord: im mike and NOT an edgelord

bi bye bi: stage one: denial

edgelord: fuck off

skrrt skrrt: deep in your heart michaelangelo youll kno its true

edgelord: FUCK OFF, MAXINE

hap hop: be nice, mike

edgelord: fine

skrrt skrrt: im Max, awesome skater girl from cali

AA: -fornia?

skrrt skrrt: yeah

bi bye bi: we lived there too!

skrrt skrrt: YESSSS!

the rational one: im lucas sin clean and as the name suggests, im the only rational one in the group

edgelord: I highly disagree

the rational one: shut the fuck up, mike

edgelord: …

edgelord: k

the wise: im will the wise and im the quiet gay of the group

IFFT: I guess we should introduce ourselves too huh

AA: Probably would be polite.

bi bye bi: im Penny and am batmans girl

batman: heeell yeah

AA: I’m Judy, the one with the only two braincells in the family. Usually mom has the other one.

hap hop: what does ur name mean, Judy?

AA: Asexual Awesomeness

IFFT: im john, the dad, and the intimadting friendly fire truck

toofless: ah

toofless: just like El’s dad

hap hop: yeah!

hap hop: oh yeah wait im el btw

maAAAATh: I’m Maureen, the mother, and I am an MF.

the rational one: mathematics fanatic

maAAAATh: Yes.

maAAAATh: Wait, how’d you know?

the rational one: your naem

maAAATh: Ah, Yes.

innocence: im will, quiet demisexual

the wise: W O A H

skrrt skrrt: Will-ception.

skrrt skrrt: should we say our sexualities?

Don: probably

Don: oh also im don and im just here

Doctor Smitheroo: and Im dr smith

Don: j u n e

Doctor Smitheroo: g o h i d e b e f o r e i b e at y o u

Don: shit

_Don has gone AFK_

_Doctor Smitheroo has gone AFK_

AA: I’m asexual, obviously.

IFFT: Pansexual.

hap hop: me too! :D

skrrt skrrt: bisexual queen (leaning slightly more towards wahmen)

the rational one: straight ally!

batman: lebsain

AA: I already hate you.

batman: good first impressions :D

toofless: questioning

edgelord: straight ally

maAAAATh: Straight Ally.

ahOY LADIES: straight allyyyyyyy!

the wise: Gay

innocence: demisexual

maAAAATh: Smith is aromantic and Don is also straight

skrrt skrrt: nice

IFFT: why do i hear don screaming while mexican music blasts through the hall


	3. Therapy Time w/st characters

ahOY LADIES: GUYS It’s that time of week again

skrrt skrrt: okay here we go

bi bye bi: whats happening?

edgelord: we have therapy time because we’re not allowed to see an actual therapist :/

AA: Wait, why not?

the wise: government shit happened so yeah

the wise: right so Steve wanna start

ahOY LADIES: right so fill this sentence: I hate that I have ______, and if I could get rid of such thing, I would be able to ____.

ahOY LADIES: El?

hap hop: I hate that I have limited vocabulary (Mike taught me that word), and if I could get rid of it, I would be able to talk to people.

demisexual: Judy could give you lessons if you’d like :D

AA: Yep. I correct my family and everyone else here.

hap hop: yes please :)

AA: It is confirmed. El is my new sister and I shall take her under my wing.

hap hop: :o ar yu a bird?

AA: It’s “are” and “you”, darling. Also no, it’s an expression.

hap hop: oh

ahOY LADIES: Lucas?

the rational one: I hate that people are still racist to me, and if I could get rid of such thing, I would have more self esteem.

AA: Mood.

toofless: not acceptable. Wanna come over, Lucas?

the rational one: Yes, please.

toofless: I’ve got your blanket ready <3

_the rational one and toofless are now AFK_

batman: jesus they need to get together

batman: Mike! Therapy tiem

AA: time*

edgelord: I hate that I have ignorant parents, one of which who wanted to bang my friend’s step-brother

skrrt skrrt: I shudder

bi bye bi: yikes

edgelord: if I had better parents I would have better habits.

the wise: most of us smoke except for Dusty-Bun and Lucas.

IFFT: Dusty-Bun?

the wise: don’t ask

maAAAATh: That’s not healthy.

edgelord: yeah, no shit.

maAAAATh: …

maAAAATh: I see why you have therapy time now.

ahOY LADIES: Max?

skrrt skrrt: pass

ahOY LADIES: c’mon, max

skrrt skrrt: no, let nibor go first

AA: Who’s Robin?

batman: I hate that my prnts r homophobic in the twenty-first century, and if they weren’t, I wouldn’t have to keep my relationship with Penny a secret

bi bye bi: ☹

batman: ☹

bi bye: wanna snuggle in dms?

batman: yus ☹

_bi bye bi and batman are now conversing quietly_

innocence: Wow

ahOY LADIES: that was quite gay

skrrt skrrt: hell yeah it was

ahOY LADIES: Max you still need to talk.

skrrt skrrt: no

hap hop: please, Max?

skrrt skrrt: …fine

the wise: Breaking news! the power of the mage works on gremlin child

skrrt skrrt: fuck off, will

skrrt skrrt: I hate that I have a homophic, racist and sexist step-dad and a mother that does nothing to stop him hurting me. If I didn’t have them, I would have better self-esteem.

ahOY LADIES: …

hap hop: …

IFFT: …

maAAAATh:

hap hop: can I come and murder your parents?

skrrt skrrt: el, no

the wise: el, yes

IFFT: Usually I’m against murder, but I need this to happen

maAAAATh: ^

AA: ^^

edgelord: im never against murder so max I have a bazooka :)

skrrt skrrt: MIKE, NO!

AA: MIKE, YES!

_bi bye bi and batman and now talking openly_

bi bye bi: sup fuckers

edgelord: read above

bi bye bi: ….

batman: ….

bi bye bi: ROBINSONS, WE MUST PROTECT OUR CALIFORNIAN BRETHREN!

batman: WE MUST PROTECT OUR SK8R GIRLL!

_Everyone is AFK_

_the rational one and toofless came back from AFK_

the rational one: Hey everyone!

toofless: uwu

the rational one: don’t ever say that agin.

toofless: qwq

the rational one: wait why hasn’t anyone responded

toofless: I just read above oh fuck

the rational one: oh fuck indeed.


End file.
